“We be of one blood, thee and I.”
The Jungle Book
Rudyard Kipling
How big is your body?
It’s a trick question of course. After all, most of us think we know
how big we are. We may well think of ourselves as too big or too small
in some dimension or other, but we still have a pretty good sense of the
size of our physical selves.
But we’re almost certainly wrong.
You see, the body doesn’t end at the outermost layer of your skin. It
extends far out into the world, connecting in profound ways to the
people around us, both near and far. We cannot see this extended body
directly, but we can infer its existence by observing the powerful
effects that other people have on us, even when they’re remote in space
and time. We are hyper-social, hyper-sensitive animals; our bodies and
minds are permeable to the thoughts, ideas and memes that flow through
our social networks.
This is not just the poetic raving of a crazed health activist; this
is a very real thing, a fact made increasingly obvious by the twin
disciplines of social neuroscience and interpersonal neurobiology. Books
such as
Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman,
Connected by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler and
The Neurobiology of We
by Daniel Siegel M.D., demonstrate conclusively the power of
relationship to shape, not just our thoughts and opinions, but the
actual form of our tissue, our endocrine systems and our health. In this
process, we literally create one another.
A highly persuasive body of scientific knowledge now reveals that the
human brain is an inherently social organ. In fact, Louis Cozolino,
author of
The Neuroscience of Human Relationship suggests that
it’s folly to study human brains in isolation. Our brains work best when
they’re connected in social networks; this is their natural habitat. As
a result, almost everything that we say and do is contagious: our
knowledge, opinions, perspectives, ideologies, behaviors and states of
mind flow constantly between individuals, teams and tribes.
The implications of this interpersonal connectivity and contagion are
profound. Suddenly, our sense of individuality fades away and we begin
to see ourselves as part of a much larger whole that contributes
immensely to our personal knowledge and experience. When other people
explore the world and learn new things, their experience flows through
social networks, revealing important insights about how the world works.
In this way, other people act as our eyes and ears, as sensory organs
for the entire tribe.
As an individual person, I can see and experience only a tiny
fraction of the world. My vision is incredibly limited, my sense of
hearing and touch are vanishingly small, my lifespan is extremely short.
In fact, as an individual, I am very nearly helpless. But with other
people as part of my extended nervous system, I effectively have 7
billion scouts and allies who are scanning the universe, gathering
information and gaining experience that might well be important to me.
In fact, all people, living or dead, are potential eyes and ears for me,
and for you. To put it another way, you are all working for me right
now, just as I am working for you.
Never mind the fact that a large percentage of my 7 billion scouts
and allies are wasting their sensory potential on well-traveled paths
and trivial amusements. Never mind that many of my scouts are focusing
their attention on aspects of the world that are worthless, ugly or
violent. What matters is that a great many of my allies are directing
their attention towards new knowledge, undiscovered potential,
outrageous beauty and new solutions to old problems. These people are
probing the world, observing its beauties, looking into mysteries and
bringing back new knowledge that may well find its way into my body. In
the process, they are making me smarter and wiser.
Even better, I find that I am no longer so disturbed by the stupidity
and ignorance that I see in the world around me. Yes, of course people
are behaving badly and yes, of course, many are using their eyes and
ears in boring and counter-productive ways, adding nothing whatsoever to
our collective sensibility or knowledge.
But that’s all beside the point because many people are in fact
looking at the world in profoundly important and interesting ways. These
people can help me extend my intelligence, add to my knowledge, sharpen
my attention and deepen my compassion. In all probability I will never
meet them in person, but that hardly matters. My allies make my life
richer. They make my mind more expansive. They help me to see a bigger,
more abundant and beautifully mysterious world than I could ever see on
my own.
And for that, I am profoundly grateful.