There is an ancient and well-kept secret
to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries.
They rarely talk
about it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental
health. This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to
truly be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement,
action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total
life experience to date. In other words, the majority of people in our world
say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and
attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to
do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in
particular the first few times, that this person experienced a similar
situation, usually when they were young.
Yes, this is psychodynamic. But
let’s face it, we live in a world where psychodynamics are what make the world
go around. An individual who wishes to live successfully in the world as a
spiritual person really needs to understand that psychology is as spiritual as
prayer. In fact, the word psychology literally means the study of the soul.
All of that said, almost nothing is
personal. Even with our closest loved ones, our beloved partners, our children
and our friends. We are all swimming in the projections and filters of each
other’s life experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces
of life to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is not
to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our relationships, but mainly
for us to know that almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in
a misunderstanding. A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more
intimacy and less suffering throughout all of our relationships. When we know
that we are just the one who happens to be standing in the right place at the
right psychodynamic time for someone to say or do what they are doing—we don’t
have to take life personally. If it weren’t us, it would likely be someone
else.
This frees us to be a little more detached from the reactions of people around us. How often do we react to a statement of another by being offended rather than seeing that the other might actually be hurting? CLICK TO CONTINUE AT SOURCE
